Sunday, November 14, 2010

“We are only just beginning our journey……..”

“We are only just beginning our journey……..”
So we have now done three performances of ‘Vanessa and Virginia’ and it now feels so long since those days in the summer when Sarah and myself would, the evening before or in the morning of rehearsals, try to prepare as best we could by learning the lines of the units to be tackled that day. The time when I just couldn’t get my mouth around lines like “even Father appears released from the relentless burden of his work that oppresses him in London”. But as the research, rehearsal conversations, improvisations and tackling with the details developed and deepened, I connected myself more with the stories of these sisters and Vanessa and the lines started to settle. Then there was the battles with getting the correct sound of the words and RP took over my Northern habits, and I found myself trying to slip in words like butchers, butterflies and aunts into everyday conversations to get in the pronunciation practice.

When the rehearsals reached that point when an audience was needed we headed for Aix (although flights caused a slight delay to our arrival) and our premiere performance of the play in front of mainly Virginia Woolf scholars. With very little tech time and problems flung against George our technician, who did a brilliant job of making it possible for the show to have all the technical aspects needed, the first ever performance of ‘Vanessa and Virginia’ went up.

I can honestly say I have never felt so nervous before a performance. It was a different kind of nerves, maybe due to the problems we had encountered in getting to Aix and little tech time, the fact we would be performing to people who knew the life stories of the sisters or the weight and size of the play that Sarah and me had to now share with an audience. My fears and nerves were put in their rightful place as Emma took us through a warm up that grounded us as actors and also grounded us within the characters and their relationship. We spoke aloud our characters thoughts and feelings to one and other and again played within our world. Before going on I grounded myself in the work we had done to this point and also trusting in the remarkable stories of these women.

In Aix the play took on new heights – energetically, emotionally, physically and I found a new connection as I communicated directly to the audience.

After Aix we had weeks of time to wait till we next performed. During our notes from the first performance Emma asked us what was it we needed to do to keep the new found elements of the play and all the work fresh and not forgotten before our next performance. For myself emotionally through the first performance things had started to shift and I felt more physically connected to certain moments. In my own time I tried to plant those changes and discoveries within my muscle memory as I find as a performer I am very physical and I use my physical being in connection with emotions.

Sarah and myself did line runs in the time between performances however we found it was very hard to just do the play on a line run level. During line runs we found it was valuable to recap over things that we had discovered in Aix.

As we worked with Emma in prep for our Bath performances a main note for myself was now the lines were hopefully feeling more secure, not to just let the thoughts run into each other and to keep each unit of action fresh.

The performance space in Bath was very different to the one in Aix, much smaller and intimate. I actually found comfort in being able to speak directly to every audience member.

For myself as a performer the warm up prior to a performance is vital both technically and to get myself into the right place in terms of focus, character, energy and emotion. Emma took us through a series of activities focusing us on bringing new life to the work and energetically engaging with each other and the space but also again grounded us in the lives of these sisters.

In the Bath performances as the piece felt more rooted I felt an even stronger connection with Sarah both as characters and also fellow performers sharing the space. I felt we played a lot more within the units and felt more connected with each other in terms of ensemble play.
Our playing time was shorter but I don’t feel we rushed. As I deliver the words in the play, at this present time, each one feels as if they are a very delicate piece of glass or something like that. I am not sure if that makes sense of what I mean but I am always more than aware that my overriding objective is to tell our story and each word is so very important.

When working with performing art students, "loosing yourself in the action" is something I speak about with them and strive to help them understand. In the Bath performances I felt I let myself go a lot more within 'the moment' and found each unit was like riding a wave when surfing and sometimes at the end of a unit I would catch myself and question what had just happened. I also found in this heightened sense of loosing myself, I also had a voice in my head (either my characters voice or actors voice, I am not sure) guiding me in moments, telling me to breath, or slow down or just to alter the weight in my body.

Our performances in Bath also brought another new challenge, which was unlike in Aix; we had an audience who maybe had little prior knowledge of the sister’s history. This is something we spoke about a lot in rehearsals and as a company felt that the piece had to connect with the human condition and had to allow those with no factual knowledge to be able to follow the story.

And now as we prepare to go to Poland and the challenges that the spaces and audience will bring there, I am thinking about the overall tour and the length of it (till next October) and I am excited by the challenge that each space will bring and how to keep the play alive and new as it develops over time. In Poland we will be performing in front artwork by Vanessa Bell and other members of the Bloomsbury group. What a privilege.

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